


Transitions

by MissingRavn



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Language, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Past Abuse, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2020-01-07 06:52:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18405401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissingRavn/pseuds/MissingRavn
Summary: It’s the first day of the new school semester...And Keonhee’s already late.Keonhee is trying to be more assertive. Hwanwoong is not who he seems to be. And Seoho is thirsty for Hwasa.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A Oneus uni au! Rating will likely change as the story progresses as some of the subject matter may be a bit much for some.

It’s the first day of the new school semester.

 

...And Keonhee’s already late.

 

“Ah, where is it?” He can’t find the building, never mind the classroom. He snoops around so much that security is looking at him weirdly.

 

“Is this... The Arts building?” He timidly asks the security guard at the door. 

 

“Yes, it is.”

 

“Oh thank god.” 

 

Keonhee books it up the stairs to his classroom. He’s al ready fifteen minutes late. “321... 322... Room 323!” He says, scanning the room numbers. 

 

He tries to open the door as quietly as he can, but the door ends up slamming behind him. It scares him and he jumps. He can hear people snickering. The whole class stares at him. It’s not that big, perhaps only thirty people or so. “I’m so sorry! This is my first time in this building...” Keonhee quietly shuffled away and pulls up a seat. 

 

The professor is a young lady with hair tied neatly in a bun. “... As I was saying, your big project this semester will be performing a monologue. Please read the syllabus when you have time. Enough with that, let’s introduce ourselves. I’m Jess, your instructor for this course. Please state your name, major, and why you chose this course. How about we start with you, mister?” She cocks an eyebrow and gestures to Keonhee. 

 

“Me? Um... Hi. I’m Keonhee and I’m a linguistics major. I’m taking acting as an elective. I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to try something different from the usual lecture format.”

 

Class goes well. Keonhee has fun. He gathers his things and puts on his backpack. However, as soon as he turns around to leave, he crashes into something. Oh wait. That was a person. 

 

“Ouch.” 

 

Keonhee looks to see a man lying on the floor rubbing his head. “Oh my gosh! Are you okay?” He offers his hand and tries not to die of embarrassment. 

 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” The man gets up and Keonhee finds that the man is considerably shorter than him. So much so that he can see his dark roots poking out of his milk tea-coloured hair. The man wipes his pants and grabs his duffel bag which fell. 

 

“That...Was quite the entrance today.”

 

“Uh, yeah! Haha...”

 

“...I’m Hwanwoong.” The man extends his hand. 

 

“Keonhee.” They shake hands.

 

“So. Linguistics, huh? Why’s someone like you taking Introduction to Acting?”

 

“Oh. I...” He notices someone tap Hwanwoong’s shoulder.

 

“Yo, Woong. We’re going to be late.” Hwanwoong nods to him. 

 

“Sorry, gotta go. See you later?”

 

“Uh, for sure!” Hwanwoong leaves. Keonhee stands there feeling a little disappointed.

 

Hwanwoong looks at his phone. He’s got two minutes to head to class. Good thing Youngjo reminded him. 

 

“So, what did you think of class?” Youngjo asks. “Eh, it was okay. Sounds like fun.” Hwanwoong answers as he feels his phone buzz. It’s a message. 

 

Geonhak:  When do you get off class? I got that new game you were talking about

You should come over.

 

 

“ Oh my gosh... It was so bad.” Keonhee buries his face in his hands.

 

“Oh, Lee Keonhee! You never fail to entertain me!” The man across from him laughs.

 

“Seoho-Hyung. I’m never going back.” He takes a sip of his coffee.

 

“Why? Because you embarrassed yourself in front of the entire class and injured some dude on the first day?” Seoho was living for this. 

 

“I did not injure him. I slightly bumped him.”

 

“But he fell on the floor.”

 

“Okay. But to be fair, he was tiny. He was like, five foot. I swear.”

 

“Whatever you say.” Seoho leans back in his chair. “You need to stop being so self-conscious these things!” Keonhee doesn’t say anything. 

 

“So...” Seoho leans in a little too close for Keonhee’s comfort. “You know the campus’ choir is having their first meeting tomorrow. Know anyone who might be interested?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

 

“Hyung, I already told you. I don’t have time for choir.”

 

“Aw, but dude, you’re such a good singer. We need you, man. We always need more tenors.”

 

“Maybe some other time.”

 

Seoho pouts. “Fine. Be that way.”

 


	2. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College life is full of mysteries.

Hwanwoong wakes up to see light streaming through the blinds of the window. He yawns, rubs his eyes, and checks the clock for the time.

 

“Hey. Hey, Geonhak.” He shakes the man in deep sleep next to him, who grumbles in response.

 

“Geonhak, it’s almost 10 am. Isn’t your room mate coming soon ?”

 

“Mmm... Shut up. I’m trying to sleep.” He rolls over.

 

“Geonhak, if you don’t get up, some freshman is going to walk into his new room mate sleeping with some dude.” Hwanwoong slaps Geonhak’s arm. “Get up.”

 

Geonhak slowly opens his eyes. “Make me.” He smirks.

 

Hwanwoong’s getting annoyed. “Look, I get that you’re trying to be sexy and all, but I’d really appreciate if you got your ass out of bed.” He pulls the blanket off the bed and gets up. Geonhak whines at the loss of warmth.

 

Hwanwoong picks his clothes off the floor and quickly dresses. He walks over to the kitchen to get something to drink, settling for some orange juice.

 

_ Fuck. What am I doing ? _

 

“Hey. Who said you could take some?”

 

He turns to see Geonhak, looking considerably less disheveled. 

 

“No one, but I’m thirsty.” He sticks his tongue out and chugs the juice. He puts the cup in the sink and grabs his things.

 

“Alright, I’ll get out of your hair now. Last night was fun.” He grabs Geonhak by the collar and gives him a quick kiss. 

 

As Hwanwoong walks out, he can hear a group of guys excitingly chatting about what seems to be forming a band. 

 

——————

 

“C’mon, Keonhee! You just need to help me pick up a few things...” Seoho pushes Keonhee into the Arts building.

 

“This is to impress Hwasa-noona, isn’t it?”

 

Seoho feigns surprise. “Wow! I can’t believe you would accuse me of doing that. I did this out of my free will. “

 

They walk until they reach a room tucked at the end of the hall. Seoho takes a key out of his pocket and unlocks the door. The room is more of a storage closet than room if anything. It’s filled to the brim with filing cabinets, uniforms, and miscellaneous knick-knacks.

 

“I just need you to help me transport the sheet music for this semester to the auditorium.” He points at the multiple stacks of paper sitting on the filing cabinets.

 

Keonhee pouts. “Hyung, why are you doing this? Isn’t this the secretary’s job? Or are you just so whipped that you offered to do it for her?” 

 

Seoho’s face turns red. Keonhee knows for a fact that he’s terrible at lying. “Look, Hwasa’s a busy gal! It’s the least I could do for a hardworking girl like her.” 

 

Keonhee narrows his eyes at him. “Aye, what’s with that face? Now grab a stack and let’s go!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the chapter. Sorry for any errors or formatting problems, I’m not very good at writing yet.


	3. 12 o’ clock

After a while, they're done with transporting the music.

"Hey! That wasn't so bad now, was it?" Seoho chuckles as he locks up the room.

"I've got a meeting soon, so I'm going to head out. See ya, bestie!" He runs off before Keonhee can say anything.

"...Why do I put up with him?" Keonhee starts walking towards the building entrance.

Or he tries to, until he ends up in a unfamiliar area.

"Goddammit, am I cursed to always get lost in this building?" He grumbles and keeps walking.

He can hear music faintly, which becomes clearer as he keeps walking.

"Is that... Chungha?"

He reaches the room in which the music is coming from. It looks like a room in which dance classes are held. There's a huge window in see through the other side, and mirrors lining the walls.

_I wanna whisper love to you with the music,_   
_I know we're both feeling the same thing,_

He sees a man dancing in the empty room.

_Gotta go, gotta go, 12 o'clock_

He dances with such grace and elegance, Keonhee’s captivated. He stays like that and continues watching the man dance.

It all goes well for Keonhee until the man stops dancing and turns around to face the window.

No wonder Keonhee thought that he looked familiar. He takes in the man brushing his milk tea-coloured hair out of his face.

“It’s shortie.”

They lock eyes as Hwanwoong takes a sip of his water bottle. Keonhee’s eyes grow huge and he panics. He desperately tries to find his way out of the building to no avail.

“Are you trying to look for an exit?”

He turns to see Hwanwoong down the hall, refilling his bottle.

“If you take a right, then go down to the end of the hall, you’ll find the east entrance.” He says, chuckling.

Needless to say, Keonhee finds his way out of the building feeling a little embarrassed.

__________________

 

Keonhee slips into his acting class trying to avoid Hwanwoong.

“Oh good, he’s not here yet.”

As more students filter in, he looks at his phone.

“Yeah, I’d say that the choreo’s coming along,”

“Oh nice,so practice went well yesterday?”

Keonhee jumps when he hears Hwanwoong’s voice strangely close to him.

“Oh hey! It’s you.”

He cranes his neck to see that Hwanwoong has indeed, sat next to him alongside his friend from last class.

“Oh... Hi.” Keonhee says, trying to avoid eye contact.

Hwanwoong smiles. “Look, you don’t have to be scared of me. I don’t hate you.”

He sees Hwanwoong’s friend laugh awkwardly, who soon introduces himself as Youngjo.

“I’m Hwanwoong’s roommate.”

Keonhee nods.

“...So, as I was trying to say last class, why are you taking this course?” Hwanwoong asks.

“How about I’ll tell you if you tell me first?” Keonhee makes a small reminder to himself to work on his conversation skills.

“Ok. I’m just taking this course to finish up my credits before I get my dance certificate.”

“Oh, I’m sort of doing the same thing. Well not really, like I have some elective credits left so I might as well finish some. Um, but mostly I’m taking this course to get out of my shell?”

“Oh, Hwanwoong will definitely help you with that.” Youngjo says, laughing. Hwanwoong hits him.

Keonhee thinks about Youngjo’s words a week later, when he sees Hwanwoong dancing through the window as he helps Seoho sort out sheet music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took so long to update! I’ve been super busy this semester, but will try to upload when I can.


	4. Gravity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I’m back after 500 years. Please note that the rating has now been changed to Mature!

It’s not like Hwanwoong didn’t notice Keonhee watching hm occasionally as he practiced. Some people might find it kind of creepy, but he thought that it was flattering, in a sense. And he thought Keonhee was a little awkward bean, like a child. He wanted to help him break out of his shell. That’s why the fourth time he saw Keonhee not-so-subtlety watch him dance to Chungha, he spoke up. He poked his head out of the practice room and turned to the boy.

“Hey, I’m done for the day. Do ya maybe wanna stop looking and get something to eat? I’m starving.”

After Keonhee’s initial shock and embarrassment, he accepted. Hwanwoong and Keonhee soon became fond of each other.

———

“Okay guys, we’re going to start our group projects today. Please get into groups of four.”

That’s how Keonhee, Hwanwoong and Youngjo ended up working on a project together. Along with some boy named Dongju, who needed a group. He approached the group shyly and Youngjo seemed to die at how cute the first year was.

It seemed simple enough. Just a short presentation on one of the techniques explained in class. It was going to be an easy A.

“Hey, we can work on the project at my dorm, if you want. I live on campus.” Dongju says.

Keonhee’s only known Dongju for five minutes, and he’s already convinced that he’s an angel. They ended up setting a meet up date for the next week, after class.

Hwanwoong runs off right after the teacher dismisses class. He mumbled something about finishing his choreography. Keonhee looks over at Youngjo.

“I swear, that guy is overworking himself. Every time he’s not in class, he’s practicing. He comes back late too.”

Keonhee sees the worry on Youngjo’s face. He thinks about it during his next lecture and decides to buy a drink to cheer Hwanwoong up. Even though it’s a bit late, he thinks that Hwanwoong will still be practicing.

——

“Ah... fuck.”

Hwanwoong leans against the wall of the practice room. Nothing is going right. His presentation is due in less than a week, and he still hasn’t finished the choreography. He had lied to Youngjo about being almost done.

“Someone’s not having a good day.” A voice behind him startles Hwanwoong.

“Geonhak? What are you doing here?” Hwanwoong had expected Keonhee.

“Did you forget that I’m a dance major too? And that we have classes in the same building?” He says with a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t sass me, Geonhak. I’m not in the mood for your shit.” Hwanwoong sighs.

Suddenly, a pair of arms wrap around him. “Maybe I can help you with something.” Geonhak says, his hands going to Hwanwoong’s waist.

“Look, this isn’t the time..” Hwanwoong starts, until he realizes. It’s night time. Even though they’re in a public space, all of the students should have left by now.

Geonhak notices Hwanwoong’s contemplation and slots their lips together.

_Just for a little bit,_ Hwanwoong thinks. _Just to get my mind off of it._

Just as Hwanwoong pushes Geonhak’s shirt up, a noise startles him. He opens the door of the practice room to see that someone had spilled milk tea on the floor. He sighs and looks for a custodian.

That was the last day Keonhee went to see Hwanwoong practice.


	5. Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a warning, there is a very slight slight sex scene at the end of the chapter.

Keonhee doesn't know why he was so shocked that night. He went to get milk tea after class (Hwanwoong's hair constantly reminded him of it), and took it to the contemporary arts building. He didn't expect to see him making out with another guy. It wasn't even the fact that Hwanwoong was (seemingly) gay. For some reason, Keonhee had assumed Hwanwoong was single and knowing that he was dating someone felt weird to him. He ponders over this for a while. He knows that he's starting to avoid Hwanwoong, consciously or not, but he feels odd knowing about Hwanwoong's relationship.

 _Maybe he's not out yet. Now I feel like I'm invading his privacy._ Keonhee constantly had these thoughts.

He couldn't avoid him any longer, when it was time to go to Dongju's dorm to work on the project.

"Hm? Where's Youngjo?" Dongju asks, when they start to walk to his place.

"Oh. He texted me to say he was going to be late. He said that he was going to talk to a professor after class." Hwanwoong answers.

They walk until Dongju stops abruptly in front of a room, startling Keonhee.

"... Alright! This is my humble abode!" Dongju says as he slides the room key in the slot.

Hwanwoong's eyes just about come out of their sockets when he reads the room number on the door. _Room 726. It can't be._

When the door opens, Keonhee looks straight into the eyes of a shirtless Geonhak. _It's him._

"Hyung! Have some decency, we have guests over..." Dongju says, covering his eyes.

"I'm sorry if I wanted to take a shower after I went to the gym." Geonhak says sarcastically.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"It got cancelled."

Keonhee doesn't know if Dongju notices but he definitely saw Geonhak glance at Hwanwoong briefly and furrow his eyebrows.

Dongju pouts. "... Guys, this is my roommate Geonhak."

Geonhak extends his hand out to Keonhee. "Nice to meet you...?"

"Keonhee." He says while he shakes Geonhak's hand, hoping he doesn't notice it shake a bit.

"I'm Hwanwoong." Keonhee hears behind him and Geonhak turns to shake Hwanwoong's hand as well. _What the fuck is going on?_

\----------

"Oh my gosh, you were hilarious earlier."

"I didn't know I was going to be attacked like this when you texted me to come over!" Hwanwoong blushes, hitting Geonhak's arm.

"You didn't tell me that you knew my roommate," Geonhak smirks.

"Just shut up and fuck me."

"Mm, we were having such an interesting conversation though? ... Fuck... Why are you so tight..."

Hwanwoong knows what he's doing is bad. He knows that he's using this is run away from his problems. He knows. But when Geonhak kisses him, he feels calm. When Geonhak touches him, he feels good. When Geonhak has sex with him, everything disappears. The stress. The thoughts. The trauma. _Like how being around "him" was like walking on egg shells. Like how "he" would hit me. Like how "he" would force me to-_

"Stop." Hwanwoong says softly.

"Hmm?" Geonhak stills.

"Stop. STOP. STOP! Get off me!"

Hwanwoong cried for the first time in a while that night.


	6. Action

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Violence and strong language in this chapter

Hwanwoong met Geonhak during his first course at the University. He was just the quiet (but secretly cute) guy in the back, with the deep voice.

They didn't really start talking until the next semester, when they attended the same boring history lecture. They became acquaintances, studying together and talking about the professor behind his back, not talking about much else. They stayed acquaintances until one fall day.

It was nightfall. In November, the days get shorter as the weather gets colder. Geonhak had just finished working out at the gym when he heard a scream in the distance.

"Get away from me! You're fucking psycho!"

He made out two figures in the dark. He walked with caution over to the scene. It was Hwanwoong, struggling to free himself from a much taller man who had one hand on his waist and another holding his wrist.

"Look, quiet down, will you? We. Were not done talking." The man tightens his grip.

"Not done talking? We're done! Broken up! And you're fucking hurting my wrist!" Hwanwoong starts crying at this point.

"Hwanwoong, don't be like that. I'll do it. I'll do whatever you want. I'll go to therapy, ok? I will. Just don't-" He gets cut off by Geonhak punching him in the face. He falls to the floor, giving Hwanwoong a chance to leave his grasp.

"Get off of him." Geonhak doesn't know what causes him to be this brave. It's probably the adrenaline.

"Hwanwoong, call campus security." He looks back at Hwanwoong in his most vulnerable state, who runs into the nearest building with tears streaming down his face.

"You bitch! Why did you have to do that?" The man stands up, clutching his face. His face turns hysterical. Geonhak gulps.

"Oh. I get it. You're sleeping with my boyfriend, aren't you! I knew that fucking slut couldn't keep it in his own pants!" He lunges at Geonhak and pushes him into the wall.

"All i wanted to do was make it up to my boyfriend, is that hard to do? But apparently it is! The things that I do for him, you'd think he'd appreciate it, but NO!" The man's screaming so loud into Geonhak's ears that he thinks he'll go deaf.

"Alright sir, that's enough. Calm down or we'll have to escort you off campus." Three men in uniform surround the two. The man lessens his grip on Geonhak and turns around to the security guards and plasters the fakest smile on his face.

"I'm not doing anything, officers. I just had a small argument with my friend here. Nothing big."

One of the officers comes closer. "Sir, please take your hands off of the other man."

"Sure thing." The man moves to leave, not before he turns back and punches Geonhak square in the jaw, his head hitting the concrete. "You fucktard! You did this to me!"

Hwanwoong's ex got permanently banned from the campus and was later arrested for assault. Geonhak got treated for a concussion that night. Hwanwoong was urged to get a restraining order by the school's health and safety services.

After that incident, Hwanwoong and Geonhak's relationship shifted. Geonhak felt the need to protect the younger, even though he didn't need to. Hwanwoong liked knowing that someone cared for him and understanded. To the public, they didn't seem very close, but between them they felt an unspoken bond. They never even talked about the incident in detail until Hwanwoong treated Geonhak, after he recovered, to dinner to make up for the entire thing.

Hwanwoong told him the entire story, which Geonhak felt honoured to know, knowing that Hwanwoong trusted him enough to tell him. They also bonded over the fact that Geonhak was, shockingly, gay as well.

"You? _You_? Mr. 'I go to the gym seven days a week', the beef cake." Hwanwoong said, trying to imitate Geonhak's deep voice.

"Hey, don't laugh! How come no one seems to believe me when I tell them..." Geonhak pouts. They ended up going back to Geonhak's place to talk afterwards.

"... I'm really sorry for everything." Hwanwoong says while taking a bite out of a store-bought cookie.

"You don't have to be. You did nothing wrong, Hwanwoong." Geonhak didn't understand why Hwanwoong kept blaming himself. He felt the sadness just emitting off the boy.

Hwanwoong looked straight into Geonhak's eyes as he began to speak. "Geonhak... You're amazing, you know?"

The older stopped stirring his coffee. He really did not expect Hwanwoong to say that.

"You, you accepted me. You didn't care that I was gay. You didn't think that it was my fault. You didn't think that I was broken... I don't know what I would do without you." Hwanwoong breaks into the most genuine smile that Geonhak has ever seen.

Geonhak moves to ruffle Hwanwoong's hair. "Geez, someone's getting sentimental."

 Hwanwoong, caught in a high of being loved, says something next that catches Geonhak off guard once again. 

"... I was so attracted to you in my first semester. Why didn't I ask you out instead?"

Geonhak doesn't know what possesses him to kiss Hwanwoong that night. Hwanwoong doesn't know what possesses him to reciprocate. 

One thing they both knew the next morning, was that they were no longer just acquaintances.


	7. Quiet

_Why. Why. It's not possible. It can't be. Why does life hate me? How did-_

"Hwanwoong, are you okay?"

Hwanwoong was brought out of his thoughts by Keonhee, who was now standing next to him.

_What was I doing? Oh. I was walking to Dongju's place._

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just spaced out for a bit!" Hwanwoong tries to put the most genuine smile on his face. 

Keonhee's not convinced. The more he looks at Hwanwoong, the more anxious he gets. "Look, you know, you can talk to me."

The sadness behind Hwanwoong's eyes doesn't seem to fade, and Keonhee's guilt finally eats away at him.

"I... I saw you with Geonhak the other day."

If Hwanwoong wasn't listening before, he certainly was now. 

"What?" He almost stops in his tracks but decides to keep walking to seem natural.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you earlier." Keonhee pauses as he thinks of his next words.

Hwanwoong stays silent, but listens intently.

"You don't have to worry. I'm okay with people being gay, or bi, or... you know." Great wording, Keonhee. "What I'm saying is, I know that you're hiding that you're dating him from Dongju."

"Oh. Oh. Yeah. Haha..." Hwanwoong tries not to let his nervousness show. _So he doesn't know that Geonhak's just fucking me_.

"I'm not going to pry but, if you need to talk, I'm here." 

"... Let's just go to Dongju's place, okay?"

\------

"...Okay, and after that, that's the end of the presentation." Youngjo explains.

"So, we're done?" Dongju asks.

"I guess we are." Hwanwoong says, mouth full of chips.

"Great. You guys want to get something to eat? I'm starving." Youngjo says, looking at the time.

"Sure, but what about Hwanwoong?" Dongju motions at Hwanwoong, who's finishing the bag of chips.

"... What are you talking about? I can always eat." Hwanwoong says, chucking the bag behind him.

Keonhee chuckles. He's really cute when he's happy.

As they get ready to leave, Keonhee's surprised by Geonhak opening the front door.

"Hyung! Right on time. We were about to go out to eat." Dongju says, wrapping his arms around Hwanwoong and Youngjo.

Keonhee tries not to look into Geonhak's eyes as the man sets down his backpack. 

"Thanks Dongju, but..." Geonhak starts, but as he looks into Dongju's eyes, he wavers. "Okay, sure." No one can resist Dongju.

Keonhee swears he has done something terrible in the past to cause his current situation.

He stares at his menu, trying not to die sitting between Hwanwoong and Geonhak at the booth. 

"Bro... You're built! You gotta let me know your work out regimen!" Youngio exclaims, gesturing at Geonhak's arm.

Geonhak blushes and shyly thanks him.

As Keonhee nervously looks around, he sees Seoho walk by with the choir club. Seoho seems to notice him and waves, not noticing Keonhee mouth, "Help me".   
\------  
Hwanwoong's sitting on the couch scrolling on Instagram when Youngjo speaks.

"So... Is that the guy?" He says, settling down to sit next to the man.

"What guy?" Hwanwoong says, half listening.

"That guy. Geonhak? You seem to forget that I live with you. You think I haven't seen you guys together?"

Hwanwoong shuts his phone off and looks at Youngjo with wide eyes. He certainly has his attention now.

"No, not like that! I haven't seen you guys fuck, thank the Lord... I meant like on campus and stuff. You don't really do a good job in acting like just friends." Youngjo puts his head in his hands.

"... I try to keep that part of my life separate." Hwanwoong says after some silence.

"I'm not shaming you, Woong. I... I just know something happened. You're acting weird now."

Hwanwoong looks straight into Youngjo's eyes as tears start to well up. "I... I saw him on the street yesterday."

He starts shaking. "He... He didn't see me! He didn't see me..." 

"Woong? You're alright..okay, you're okay." Youngjo says, as he wraps his arms around the younger.

"But... I thought that he could still hurt me..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're reaching the end of the fic! Only a couple of chapters left. Sorry for the long wait for the update.


	8. Not Fine

Keonhee's reading a riveting article about second language acquisition when Seoho slams a steaming hot coffee on top of his papers.

"... I was reading that."

Seoho smirks. "Dude, why are you doing homework right now? It's the weekend!"

Keonhee sighs, gathering his papers and putting them in his bag before Seoho can ruin them.

"And plus... You said you wanted to talk? So this must be something important..." Seoho says, sipping on his drink.

Keonhee gulps before talking. They're currently at the campus' only good coffee place, but it's quite quiet at the moment. However, Keonhee's still nervous that people will hear him.

"I... Think I like Hwanwoong."

"The short dude! ...Yes! Get your man!" Seoho exclaims, trying to remember who he was.

When Keonhee doesn't say anything and looks at his lap, Seoho continues. "...Keonhee, are you gay?" He says, carefully.

"I... I don't know. I've never really had crushes on people. But...I think I have romantic feeling for a guy, so I guess I am?"

Seoho puts his hands on Keonhee's shoulder. "Keonhee, it's okay. You don't have to figure it all out right now. It can be a process..." Keonhee doesn't say anything, but nods.

"I'm proud of you. Thank you for sharing this with me."

That's when the waterworks start. Tears start to fall from Keonhee's eyes, and Seoho scrambles to get napkins from the kind barista behind the counter.

After Seoho gets him a hot chocolate and enough napkins to stock a store, Keonhee speaks up.

"... Enough about that, I saw you with the choir club recently? How's it going with Hwasa?" Keonhee laughs, trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm glad you asked! Hyejin and I are really hitting it off!"

"Hyejin?"

"That's her actual name. Weird, right? Every one thought that Hwasa was her actual name, but apparently she only lets people who are close to her know her name..." Seoho says, looking as if cupid had just shot him.

"You know Keonhee, you're changing."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Keonhee says, dabbing his eyes.

"You... You used to never open up about this kind of stuff, even though we're so close."

As Keonhee thinks about what Seoho says, Youngjo's words echo in his head. _“Oh, Hwanwoong will definitely help you with that.”_

Hwanwoong's thoughts are spiralling as he rings the doorbell.

Geonhak opens the door quietly a few moments later, concerned. He leads him to the couch where they sit side by side. Hwanwoong is visibly distraught. Geonhak doesn't know why he let Hwanwoong come over, but he always gets to him.

"Look, Hwanwoong. You can't stay long, I don't know when Dongju will be back."

Hwanwoong says nothing but grabs Geonhak's face and connects their lips. It's pure lust and Geonhak has trouble keeping up with Hwanwoong's aggressiveness. It doesn't take long for Hwanwoong to push Geonhak on his back and grab at his belt.

Geonhak tries to break away from Hwanwoong as the other continues to kiss him passionately. It doesn't feel right. He knows Hwanwoong. This isn't like him. "Hwanwoong, stop." Geonhak holds Hwanwoong by the shoulders and the other stills his movements.

"... You don't want it?" Hwanwoong says, quietly.

"I... I don't. I can't have sex with you. It's... obvious you're not in the right state of mind right now."

Hwanwoong seems unbothered, and palms Geonhak's crotch. "But... I've been waiting for your cock, _daddy..._ " Geonhak furrows his brows.

"Hwanwoong, get off." He slaps his hand away. "Did you drink before coming here?"

"Please. Please just let me suck your dick..." Hwanwoong says, completely disregarding his question. Geonhak thinks Hwanwoong looks completely insane in this moment.

"Hwanwoong, go home. I don't want to deal with this right now." Geonhak gets off of the couch, or tries to, when Hwanwoong grabs his leg.

"HWANWOONG. Let go." Geonhak is getting annoyed at this point.

"Please... You don't understand... I can't stop thinking..." Hwanwoong whispers as he lessens his grip.

Geonhak grabs Hwanwoong's phone from his pocket and unlocks it. "I'm calling your roommate to pick you up."

Hwanwoong calms down a bit by the time he's in Youngjo's car.

"Woong, look. I don't know how many times I have to say it, but please. Seek help. You used to use the campus' counselling services right?" Youngjo says, not taking his eyes off of the road. He's mad. "It's not only ruining your life, but your relationships with others."

"I... feel filthy," Hwanwoong felt like he needed to have sex in order to feel better.

"Nothing would even happen if others found out."

"What would happen if Keonhee found out?" Hwanwoong say quietly.

"...Why do you care about Keonhee so much?" Youngjo asks. Hwanwoong didn't think he would hear him.

"Oh, shit."

 


	9. Expectation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mention of physical and emotional abuse.

_I did everything I could to stop him from getting mad at me. Did you know that he had anger issues? He threw a table across the room once. So yeah, call me stupid, call me pathetic. I thought that it would get better. I thought that once he went to counselling and therapy, everything would go away. He kept putting it off. “Oh, I’m too busy right now,” or “ The counsellour is on vacation right now.” Yeah, bull shit._

_I never thought that I would be in an abusive relationship. I always thought I was too smart to be in one. But these people manipulate and brainwash you into thinking that you’re the one in the wrong. This is your fault. I never really understood until I was a victim of abuse myself._

_Even my friends didn’t have my back. They always just said I was stupid. People that I trusted now blamed me for my situation. “How come you haven’t left yet?”_

_I was scared of the consequences._

_One day, he hit me. I couldn’t go with him to a work function due to Youngjo's birthday dinner. He said that I was selfish. He said that I ruined his plans and that I was going to make him look bad. He got mad. I don’t think I’d ever feel so scared. He got so mad that he slapped me across the face._

_At that moment I knew I had to leave._

_The day that I left was one of the hardest and most liberating days of my life. Youngjo and I made a plan beforehand. I would break up with him in a public place and before it turned dark. If he tried anything, I would be able to at least alert someone. Then, once I got out, Youngjo would pick me up. That was the plan._

_I tried to leave the restaurant. But he pulled me back. He pleaded about how he loved me and how he would get help. He gave me a box of chocolates. I threw it at his head and ran. Ran as fast as I could so he couldn’t catch me._

_That night at Youngjos place, I received multiple phone calls and messages. It was hard not to answer. Youngjo eventually took my phone._

_I think back at what an idiot I was. How did I not see the obvious red flags? Why did I stay for so long?_

_I thought it would be better after I left. But no, he followed me. He knew where I lived. He knew where I went to school. Never before had I felt so on edge. To make matters worse, I lost my friends. Youngjo was the only person I had left._

_I couldn't even tell my parents because I felt ashamed. They weren't thrilled to hear that their son was gay, so what would happen upon hearing about this? They'd probably think all gay people were psycho._

_Even after the restraining order, I knew that I had changed. I had been conditioned to do things. If I can’t give people what they want, they might hurt me. If I don't listen to what they say, they could backstab me._

_I feel broken. And I’m trying to put the pieces back together with unhealthy coping mechanisms. I admit it. Youngjo and Geonhak don’t deserve what I’m putting them through, and so do I. How long am I going to let him win? How long will he continue to control me? Only I will know. Only I will._

“Yeo Hwanwoong?”

A woman’s voice brings Hwanwoong back to reality.

“Oh. Yes, that’s me.” He turns around to face the door.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Kim, one of the clinical psychologists here at the office. Nice to meet you."

 


	10. Finale

"Thank you everyone, for listening to our presentation today."

The class applauds the group and Keonhee sighs in relief.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Hwanwoong says, putting his hand on Keonhee's shoulder. As he looks back at him, Keonhee thinks this is the first time in a while he's seen Hwanwoong break into a real smile.

"Hey, Woong," Youngjo says as they take their seats in the back of the room.

"I forgot to say it earlier, but... I wanted to let you know that I'm proud of you. I know I was a little harsh on you, and I'm sorry for that. But I'm proud of you for taking the first step." 

"Thanks, hyung. Don't worry about it, it was justified."

"You wanna hang after class? Happy hour at Bistro RBW?"

"Thanks, but I actually have plans later today."

  
The room is silent as Geonhak looks at Hwanwoong, waiting.

"I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for doing all of this shit. I'm sorry for forcing myself on you. I'm sorry for bringing all of my baggage into this. I'm sorry for using you. It's not fair for people to dump their problems onto others." Hwanwoong says, trying to maintain eye contact.

Geonhak looks genuinely surprised. "Oh." is all he manages to say.

Hwanwoong takes a deep breath. "So let's break things off." 

Geonhak goes silent for a while. Hwanwoong braces for the worst.

"... Yeah. Okay, sure. No hard feelings." 

"Geonhak... I'm truly sorry... You didn't deserve any of this... You don't have to forgive me, I..."

Geonhak gets up from his seat. "No worries, Hwanwoong. Just promise me that you'll work on bettering yourself, yeah?"

Hwanwoong watches as Geonhak leaves the room.

"Yeah." 

As Geonhak turns the corner, a tear falls from his eyes. He knew he was in too deep. He knew he should have stopped earlier. It hurt him more than he thought. Seeing the person he fell for push him away. 

He sighed and kept walking. _This has to happen. This for the better_. 

\--------------

"Thanks for waiting Keonhee," 

Keonhee turns around to see Hwanwoong, with purple hair.

"You dyed it?" He says, staring in awe.

"My hair?" Hwanwoong asks, running his hand through the violet locks. "Yeah, I needed to change it up. My roots were looking really bad." 

"It's... pretty." 

Hwanwoong blushes, then grabs Keonhee's arm. "Come on, stop gawking and let's grab some seats."

"Hey, hyung!" Dongju says waving his hands from his seat.

"Dongju, shhh!" Youngjo says, putting a hand over the younger's mouth. "Hwanwoong and Keonhee don't know we're here."

"Oh, right!" 

Soon, five men enter the stage. The crowd starts cheering. As they finsh adjusting their mics and instruments, one of them,  a tall brown haired man, starts talking. "Hi everyone! Thanks for coming to Onewe's first live performance!"

"Our first song is our newest release, Regulus! Get some tissues ready, you're about to be moved." 

  
Keonhee can't stop staring at Hwanwoong as the other shovels cheesecake into his mouth. 

"It was a good show! Dongju's brother can sing!" He says animatedly, his voice a bit too loud in the café.

Keonhee thinks Hwanwoong looks the best like this. Happy, talking passionately about something random. Okay, well maybe the hair and his black silk shirt helped. There's just something captivating about him.

"I like you." Keonhee says abruptly. _Shit, did I say that out loud?_

"What...?" Hwanwoong puts his fork down.

"I... like you, Hwanwoong." Keonhee says, shutting his eyes.

Time stands still.

When Keonhee doesn't hear anything, he reopens them.

Hwanwoong is crying.

"Hwanwoong?"

Hwanwoong seems surprised at Keonhee's voice, and wipes his eyes. "Why do things happen like this?" 

"Right, I'm such a bad friend, you have a boyfriend and-"

"I like you too."

Now it's Keonhee's turn to not say anything.

Hwanwoong starts chuckling. "And... I don't have a boyfriend. I assume you meant Geonhak... We were just seeing each other casually. We broke things off." 

Keonhee's still having trouble all of the information Hwanwoong is giving him.

"But... I'm not ready for a relationship right now." Hwanwoong says with a pained smile. He takes a deep breath before continuing.

"To be completely honest with you, I'm trying to heal. From my ex. He... wasn't a good guy."

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Keonhee says finally.

"Yeah, but shit! I really like you..." Hwanwoong says, putting his palms on this face.

Keonhee thinks.

"Okay, then later."

"Huh?"

"Ask me out later. When you think you're ready. That way, we'll still be friends and there won't be pressure for you to get in a relationship." 

"Okay, deal." Hwanwoong laughs. "Lee Keonhee, when did you become so confident?"

_It was because of you._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my first fic ever, even though it's a bit rough.This fic was going to be longer, but I'm not confident enough in my writing skills to portray what I want well. I wish I could have fleshed out the characters and relationships better. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Some notes:  
> -I put the characters in an acting class because there was originally a scene where Keonhee and Hwanwoong act out a scene with a lot of sexual tension.  
> -Keonhee was originally going to have a dilemma in joining the choir.  
> -There was originally more HwanHak sexual content but got cut due to potentially triggering themes.  
> -Keonhee's sexuality is never mentioned, but I wrote him as a person on the grey ace spectrum.  
> -This fic is loosely based on my own experience with coping with an abusive partner.


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